Macbeth And Good Luck
by AureliaNight
Summary: Shawn and Gus are pulled into the investigation of suspicious incidents happening in a high school production of Wicked by a shy and sweet actress and her skeptical friend. My debut Psych fic- well... My debut fic, actually.
1. The Curtain Rises

To my lovely readers:

I don't own anything you recognize in this story(AKA Shawn & Gus; Wicked), but if I did, I would be so elated with my life.

"C'mon, Gus, best... thirteen out of twenty-five?" Shawn still couldn't believe that he lost twelve video games out of the past twelve against Gus. He HAD been in the office all night practicing while Gus caught up on his next presentation. "The guy who works in pharmaceuticals SHOULD NOT beat the free spirit. ESPECIALLY not if the free spirit used every cheat code he knew while the other guy wasn't looking. It goes against nature! Like flavored water and straight guy clothing designers!"

Gus raised an eyebrow and chose to ignore the 'free spirit' thing. Shawn was Shawn, after all. "You used the cheat codes? Shawn... what did we say before we started our video-gaming battle?"

"... Don't forget to get the chips?"

"Not that! About cheat codes!"

"Technically, you just said not to cheat. And cheat codes aren't cheating; that's using knowledge to your advantage. Why are you so angry, Fussy Gussy? You won anyway!" 

"First, Shawn, they're called cheat codes. Not using knowledge to your advantage codes. And I'm mad 'cause you breached our agreements!"

"'Breached our agreements?' Who talks like that, your grandma?"

Luckily for both Shawn and Gus, a knock on the door broke the silence. Then the door was flung open and a girl yelled, "WAS THAT SO HARD?" Gus jumped slightly but quickly composed himself. Shawn had no real change of expression.

The girl who yelled walked in, flopped on the couch which Shawn had just stood up from, brushed her short dyed-bright red hair out of her face, and pulled a book out of her backpack. Before she began reading, she smiled at Shawn and Gus and introduced herself with, "Hello. My name's Ophelia. I don't want to be here and I don't believe in psychics. Talk to Lily for further information."

Gus and Shawn exchanged a look. That girl couldn't be older than fifteen. Another girl with long dark brown hair was at the door. She had the expression of a deer in the headlights; her light brown eyes were very wide and she looked like she wanted to hide behind a couch or something. "Ahm... well... um... Hi...?" Both girls looked like they just rolled out of bed; their clothes were mussed and their hair was in utter disarray. They also both were slightly damp.

Ophelia glanced up from her book. "Lily, get in here and tell them why you're here." 

Gus looked a little confused- but only a little. "Normally people make appointments, you know."

Lily immediately started stammering about coming back later. Ophelia looked at her symphathetically and then turned her evil glare to Shawn and Gus. "Do you know what I went through because Lily wanted to come here?" she asked. Lily looked like she'd rather be anywhere but where she was at the moment. "I camped out front of here all night because she wanted to see when you two 'psychics'," -there she added air quotes- "got in. THEN sprinklers came on, which was really strange, because there wasn't even any grass or plants outside." Shawn shrugged apologetically and said, "Well, it might have stopped a burglar! A hydrophobic burglar!" Gus gave Shawn the "we're talking about this later" look. Ophelia rolled her hazel eyes and continued. "THEN Lily sat outside for about an hour deciding whether or not to knock."

"Twenty-four minutes," Lily murmured.

"Twenty-four minutes, then. But after all that, you're not telling us we need an appointment!" Finished, Ophelia reclined and continued reading. After a couple of seconds of everyone staring at her, Shawn and Gus turned to Lily.

"So..." Shawn began, "Twenty-four minutes?"

Lily nodded, blushing more than ever. "Yeah... Um... Should I be talking about my case-thing?"

"No," Gus said sarcastically. Lily blanched.

"Oh. Uhm. Well-" 

"It was sarcasm, Lily. Tell them what's going on," Ophelia said, sounding half bored and half symphathetic.

"Okay." Lily took a deep breath and said, "Umm... We're in a play, and..."

Shawn looked at his desk, where he had thrown all of his mail in a disorderly pile. The third item down was a poster for a musical. "Wait!" he yelled. Lily jumped back a little. Ophelia glanced up and decied it was almost interesting enough to stop reading for. Almost.

"I'm getting... Nicholas Cage? No..." He started pacing back and forth, snapping his fingers. "A movie... The Wicker Man, wicker baskets, scripts, the green witch, all scary... WICKED! Are you by chance in Wicked, the musical that will be performed at... five o' clock in... two days?"

Lily looked amazed. "That was incredible."

"Incredible like paint..." Ophelia commented from the couch.

Shawn turned to Ophelia. "I've been having feelings of skepticism from you since you came in here, and it's seriously blocking the auras."

"Oh no, the auras are blocked! Whatever shall you do!" Ophelia mocked.

"Okay, that's it," Shawn yelled. "I challenge you to a duel!"

" I ACCEPT YOUR CHALLENGE!"

Gus and Lily sighed and buried their heads in their hands simultaneously. 

Strangely, it was not Gus who called the complete idiocy of having a duel. It was Lily.  
"C'mon, guys. First off, if either of you's die, I'm in a spot of trouble and will most likely be questioned by the police. Not the band- the ones you two-" pointing at Shawn and Gus, "-work for from time to time. At least a quarter of them probably consider you part of the force, so they would probably go crazy with their questioning techniques. Second, what are you going to duel with? Plastic forks? And most importantly, who's gonna clean up all that blood? So, for now, let's all sit down and forget our differences-"

"And sing a rousing chorus of Kumbayah?" Ophelia and Shawn said this at the same time. They both gave each other death glares.

Gus decided to change the subject. Quickly. "So... what are you here about? Due to... interruptions..., I don't think we ever actually figured that out." 

"Oh, yeah. Well. Basically... I'm currently a lead part in a play where someone seems to be attempting to bump off the lead parts."

Shawn turned to Gus. "Dude!," he began incredulously, "that girl has you in nutshelling!"

Lily resumed her deer-in-the-headlights look.

"Uhm... Uh... Look. Could you guys just come to our dress rehearsal tonight? We'll explain everything there. Please? Just humor me." She had added the last part after seeing Gus's expression. "Unless- oh. Probably you guys have something to do. After all, it must be pretty busy running a psychic detective agency... I don't mean to impose. If you could drop by, I'd be eternally grateful and whatnot, but I'll understand if you can't and- Oh, I'm rambling now aren't I? I'm sorry!" She looked like- nay, she _was_ on the verge of tears.

"Okay, calm down, alright?" Gus said. He'd never been all that comfortable around crying people, especially teenagers. "We'll try to make it. We're not offended by anything you just said, and it's fine that you were rambling." Gus tried to remember what else the high school guidance counselor had done to calm down those who cracked during midterms. He came up blank and sent a pleading look at Shawn. Shawn graciously swooped to the rescue.

"Chill, alright? We're gonna be there. What time is your rehearsal and where is it?"

"Couldn't _the spirits_ tell you that?" Ophelia obviously wasn't a morning person.

"The spirits can't spell everything out for me, you know!" Lily, realizing that Shawn and Ophelia would soon be back on the 'duel' topic, quickly scrawled down the address of her school.

"It starts at five, but lead parts such as Glinda," she motioned to herself, "and Elphaba have to be there early, like, around fourish. 'Phelia normally comes early because she likes to ridicule the guy leads before their girlfriends come. Meet you in the hallway out side of the gym?"

"... Sure...," Shawn agreed, though he had no idea what Lily just said. Lily looked highly relieved, though, so it was alright. He'd just ask Gus what she said later.

"C'mon, 'Phelia. Let's go get some breakfast."

"I'm picking the place!" Ophelia yelled, even though she was only a few yards away from Lily. Gus suspected she did it to cause Shawn's eardrums severe damage. Good thing he wasn't too nearby, or Shawn would be plotting the perfect crime.

"Thank you two so much. I'll see you at four!" With that, Lily and Ophelia departed.


	2. Turn Off The Lights

**To my lovely readers:**

**I **_**still**_** don't own anything you recognize in this story(AKA Shawn & Gus; Wicked, anything other than the non-Psych characters.) Thanks to my best buddy for letting me make her a character. You'll be in next chapter, I promise. If you wanna reveal your identity, feel free. I might not update in a while due to school, so don't think I spontaneously combusted or anything. I AM gonna get crackalackin' right now, though.**

Gus was Gus-lecturing Shawn and expressing his concern over... something. Shawn wasn't really paying attention. He was imagining all the possible scenarios that would inspire a teenager to go to psychic detectives for help. Sadly, he did not realize he was murmuring each one under his breath.

"... monkeys raging in and taking over..."

Gus scowled. "Shawn, were you listening at all?"

Shawn considered lying- he could guess what he was being lectured about- but _that_ would be too _sane_. "Of course, Gussykins!" he began in his best offended voice. "You were obviously lecturing me about something-or-other and expressing concern over a thing."

Gus's scowl deepened. "Shawn, I _was_ talking about our case. And those sprinklers you installed, but mainly our case."

"Oh, yeah..." Shawn gazed out the window. " That Lily girl seemed pretty nice. Ophelia was a meany-head, though. And I do wish we had gotten to that duel..."

"Yeah, well, 'that Lily girl' probably gives cookies to underprivileged children in her spare time."

Shawn considered that. "No, she'd be giving them cake. She probably goes around giving normal people cookies; she wouldn't want to feel Scrooge-y."

"But Shawn," Gus began, changing the subject, "Why didn't you even try to get any substantialdetails about the case? We could have gone interviewing witnesses and productive things, and I could be getting a new briefcase for my presentation tomorrow by now!"

"Well, she _was _about to cry, and, sadly, you are unable to function in the face of tears. Especially young tears."

"You aren't either! Where were you when that guy with the split personality was crying? Roshambo-ing me! And you weren't exactly about to switch places with me when I lost!"

Shawn looked out the window. A sign said ''Speed Limit: 15 MPH''. They were probably only a block away. "Well, obviously," Shawn replied easily. "Who wouldn't be happy for beating his Roshambo-ing fiend of a best friend?" Shawn always liked to wrap up all arguments before he got out of the car so Gus wouldn't drive away without him. It was a long walk back to Psych HQ, and he'd learned to give up hitch-hiking after the 'llama stalker incident' during his short stint in

Brazil.

"I am a Roshambo fiend, aren't I?" Gus was obviously feeling very flatterable today. He pulled into the parking lot. Lily ran up, but tripped halfway to the Psychmobile.

"Stupid shoes..." she murmured. She was just about the only person in the world who wouldn't sound angry saying that. Ophelia was slowly walking behind her, obviously not to eager to meet up with the Psych office's representatives. Gus pulled into the nearest parking lot and Shawn shot out while the car was still running, which made Gus once again question why fate even let them meet each, and ran to Lily and Ophelia.

"So, what happened? I'm sensing... calamity... and the loss of cast members... and cake... but the spirits are being stingy information withholders, and..." Then Shawn saw Lily's dress. Gus did at the same moment.

Gus raised an eyebrow. "No offense, but... that dress looks like a storehouse that made chiffon, sequins, satin, and cotton candy exploded."

"More like threw up..." Ophelia and Shawn murmured at the same time. They once again gave each other a stare of pure hatred.

Lily blushed pinker than her dress. "Well, pink's not really my thing, so I had to borrow the dress from the last Glinda. Her feet are bigger than mine, though, and we don''t have time to get shoes, so I have to live with these." She shrugged. "Better than being too small."

Ophelia was dressed in a long robe of gold and deep green. "Wait!" Shawn said, "the spirits are trying to tell me something... You're the villain, and you're the part right behind Lily!"

"No way..." Ophelia replied dryly. "You could''ve gone on the website for Wicked and figured that out without the help of your little spirits."

"So... Lily, what's going on here that you needed our help in?" Gus could sense the tension between Shawn and Ophelia building between the two like a typhoon, and he didn't want to go to jail or clean the blood from the pavement after the duel.

Lily looked completely relieved. "Oh, well, um,..." Se took a deep breath. "Well, I just moved here last year so I don't know if this happens all the time but I don't think so- the first Elphaba took a dive down the stairs where she shouldn't have even been at the time because it was ten and we needed her there and now she has amnesia and then the girl who was Glinda was elevated to Elpaba and she and the Glinda who used to be Madame Morrible both got huge shocks from there microphones AND the next Elphaba was found turning purple because she ingested strawberries, which everyone knows she's deathly allergic to, and the new Glinda quit because she thought someone was out to get the lead parts, no matter who they were, and I must say I quite agree, so will you please help us?" She stopped to breathe. "And I'm sorry for the huge run-on sentence," she added.

"Lily," Ophelia began, "You're the only person on Earth who cares about spoken grammar. Lighten up." Gus looked highly affronted at that.

"Okay, first, you know what, Ophelia? You're looking at the most gralammical person in the world right here." Ophelia snickered, Lily was a little confused, and Gus was embarrassed to be seen within twelve miles of Shawn. "And Lily, of course we'll help you out. As soon as I figure out what you said."

Lily blushed. "I wrote it down..." she murmured, rooting through a large paper bag. Gus could see the outline of what was in the bag before Shawn could have a 'vision', amazingly, and brought it up.

"Is that a blender?" Gus asked.

"Mayyyyyybe..." Lily and Ophelia said mysteriously at the same time. Lily pulled a large, ten-page document out of her bag. The first sentence, Shawn saw, was, "I'm sorry this document is so long."

_Good thing I have a photographic memory._

She handed it to Shawn just as the door opened and the director-who Shawn saw was 'Mr. Taser' according to his ID, yelled out at Lily.

"GLINDA! Get in here! We need you to embrace your character!"

"Well, Glinda's just mean!" Lily yelled back. "I'm sorry!" She ran back inside after sending an apologizing glance to Shawn and Gus, tripping on the way. "Stupid feet..." she was heard to murmur by Gus. Ophelia laughed a little and walked over behind her. Shawn was too preoccupied by something he saw through the open door to notice any of that.

Well, more like some_one._

Shawn slapped Gus on the shoulder. "Gus," he asked quietly, "Can you think of any plausible reason why Lassie would be in a high school auditorium?"

"Gun safety lesson? Although he'd probably end up shooting the first kid to act like a hoodlum... why?"

"Because he's right over there with Jules."

Gus glanced angrily at Shawn at Shawn. "Great. Now if we go in, he'll know we have a case and be competing with us to solve it because he hates your guts."

"You think I don't realize that? Well, other then the Lassie-hating-me-part. He's like my idol, or like the father figure I never had." Shawn thought for a little, then smiled. "I have an idea," he announced.

"What?" Gus asked. "Convince him it's teenage paranoia?"

""Well, I was gonna say we ditch the case and go out for some delicious ice cream, but that sounds way more fun, though slightly less delicious."


	3. And Turn Off The Shyness

**To my dear readers:**

**Well, whaddya know? Chapter three is officially up and last time I checked I had, like, three reviews! AWESOMENESS! I'd really appreciate it if some of you people would, like, I don't know, review or something? I wanna know what I'm doing right, wrong, okay, mediocre- feel free to send me long angry messages about my use of cucumbers or something. Also, I still don't own Psych or anything you recognize, yadda yadda. That's all I'm gonna say other than I'm not gonna be able to update for a while due to school. Now to present you with your previously programmed story.**

"Oh look, Gus! It's Lassie the Wonder Cop and Julesiet! What are you two doing here?" Shawn feigned amazement.

Detective Carlton Lassiter scowled. "I was about to ask you the same question, Spencer."

Gus answered before Shawn could. "We have a case. From a paranoid insane girl." He rolled his eyes as if he were annoyed. Lassiter would have looked pleased if he wasn't so annoyed.

Juliet O'Hara turned around. She had just been talking to a tallish girl with straight blond hair. "Oh, hi, guys! What are you doing here?"

"We have a case," Gus repeated in the same tone as before. "Why are you here?"

"Detective O'Hara decide to practice being assertive today. On me." Lassiter scowled more.

"I got a call from my cousin; she can't drive yet and no one could bring her."

"So she had me pick her up _in the police car._"

"I knew you weren't angry just because of me failing to catch up with you earlier! But you're mad at Jules? It's unheard of!" Shawn was aghast.

"No, I'm mad _because of_ Detective O'Hara. Not at. There's a difference." Juliet just blushed regretfully. "And because an _annoying child_ is trying to be as obnoxious as possible." He looked evilly at Shawn.

"_Gus!_ Why are you always bothering people?!"

Gus didn't even pretend he wasn't annoyed.

"Alright, O'Hara, we're done here. Let's go." Lassiter was obviously ready to leave right then.

"No! I want to watch!" Jules looked murderous.

"Jules?" asked Shawn, "Are you alright...? Are you really Jules? Holy cow, Gus! Jules was abducted by aliens and replaced with an exact clone of herself!"

"Well, not exact, seeing as she's acting completely aggressive and vaguely frightening," Gus corrected him.

Just then, Ophelia came over. "Hello, Detectives O'Hara and Lassiter! Can I have a mint?" Juliet pulled a tin of Altoids out of her pocket and handed her one, rolling her eyes in the not-annoyed way.

"You have to stop telling people I have mints. I'm almost out of Altoids." Lassiter shook his head with a pained expression on his face.

"I will..." Ophelia replied sweetly.

Shawn tried his best not to strangle her as she skipped away. "She's the one who told you that you have to be more assertive, right?"

"Yes, actually! How'd you- Oh, yeah. She's a nice girl."

"I'm getting very evil intentions from her. She's very manipulative. And I'm getting mauled squirrels for some reason. Oh... They're crying. They want their killer to be found."

Lassiter looked more annoyed, if that was possible; Jules looked a little freaked out for a second. "I don't really like squirrels. At all." Shawn became irritated and disappointed.

Gus tugged Shawn's sleeve. "C'mon," he hissed, "Let's go see if we can catch anyone with 'evil intentions' other than our current employers."

"But we have no more time for chitchat and we mustn't dillydally. So farewell, my dear friends!" Shawn and Gus waved and left the auditorium again, trying not to listen to 'Mr. Taser' screaming at Lily and whoever was Elphaba.

There were many, many more people in the hallway outside the auditorium than inside. Shawn almost found himself counting hats. It looked like about thirty people were in the spacious area. They went up to a girl who was writing furiously in a notebook. Despite the fact nearly everything she had on her was either jet-black or snow-white, she looked _much _friendlier than a certain girl with a duel scheduled in the near future.

"So... What are you doing?" Gus asked.

"Writing emo poetry. What else?" She didn't stop writing at all.

"Ummm... Alright... That's... great..." Gus was a little disturbed by her gothic-ness and her poetry.

Once again without looking up, she asked, "What's a good word for a corpse? With a lot of words that rhyme with it?"

"Cadaver," Shawn answered automatically. Then he turned and murmured to Gus, "Definitely wasn't her..." He walked to a girl a few feet from her. She had very short blonde hair and was reading a book about physics. "Ummm... why are you reading that of your own free will?"

"Shawn, physics are highly interesting, and they really help you out later in life." Gus was waiting for the girl to throw herself at his feet, crying, and tell him that he was the first person she met to understand the complex ingenuity of physics.

"Um... I'm getting a C- in physics and technology. My mom says I have to read this or I'm not getting my laptop repaired, and I'll need it for college this summer." Shawn shrugged. Gus could tell he was thinking, _I was right _and_ It definitely wasn't her."_

Shawn looked around and immediately ran over to another girl. She was kinda short with a wild hurricane of brown curls and locked in engaging conversation with another girl. Shawn wasn't running over to her because she was talking about how she wished she had a better part; that would just make too much sense.

"Excuse me, but is that a pineapple in your hand? ... Arm...?"

Gus was sorely tempted to bury his face in his hands. _Only Shawn._..

The girl's bright blue eyes widened. "... Why? And who are you?" She hugged the pineapple to herself as if frightened to lose it.

"I," Shawn announced grandly, "am Shawn Spencer, a psychic detective working with one among your number. And this is my sidekick-"

"_Business partner-"_

"-Burton Guster." He turned back on the shorter girl. "And I need that pineapple for the purpose of... mind... focusing!"

"Well, I'm Tobie and this is _my_ pineapple." She didn't saying it like a spoiled brat; she obviously did not want to part with her precious pineapple.

"Weren't you Sylvia last year?" A girl in the back looked highly confused, along with the rest of the group. Someone else answered, "I thought you were Sakura...!"

"Well, now I'm Tobie!" She looked highly vexed. "Sooo... you're psychic? Realllllllllly? Can you read us? Right now? Pleasepleaseplease?"She suddenly had all the energy of an excited puppy dog.

"I'll try. Let's see..." Shawn turned to Gus as if to say, Don't you wish you had this skill?, and prepared himself for the challenge.

"You never really want to Australia-" A boy with fair hair and nearly translucent skin blushed and closed his binder, "-_those_ aren't really your dogs-" A girl with very wavy red hair and green eyes looked incredibly annoyed and put down the picture she was showing her friends, "-you have a boyfriend you don't want your parents or friends to know about-" Another girl with black hair blanched and became very paranoid-looking, "-and you're hiding something you don't know how to tell your friends. Just come out, man." A boy with a black fedora started stammering.

Shawn stepped back and basked in the amazement.


	4. To Be Or Not To Be

**Hey! I'm sorry it took me forever and a day to update. For those of you who hung in, THANK YOU! Still don't own anything... And I don't have the means to buy the rights... But I completely own Super Pokingdom Singstarrevolution and the Order of the Pheonix 2. Well... sorta. But that has nothing to do with this story.**

Gus was receptive to the fact the amazement Shawn was basking in was a product of his own self-centered mind. The dead silence that filled the break room did not mean they were spellbound. It had more to do with the fact that each and every cast member was glaring at Shawn plotting his murder. Then the floodgates opened, and every cast member was either trying to explain the truth, walking out in a huff, or yelling at Shawn.

"No, seriously! Just because I said Brad Pitt has washboard abs-" the fedora-clad boy was heard to stammer.

"I really did! My parents just made me stay inside the whole time! But I picked up the accent and everything! See! Crikey, mates!", the translucent-skinned boy was heard to utter pathetically.

Meanwhile, a circle of actor/resses were closing in on Shawn. Gus decided to hang by the wall until they started going after blood. Then he would call the police and run with the speed of a leopard. A very, very fast leopard.

"_What_ exactly do you think you're doing?" An angry looking girl, who seemed to be the leader of the pack, pointed at him and lectured in an English accent.

"Umm... That's kind of hard to answer. I guess being attacked by a bunch of angry high schoolers, but that's more what you're doing. So... I think cowering in fear while a girl who the spirits tell me is using a fake accent is lecturing me." Shawn was obviously trying to keep them from immediately attacking.

"That's exactly what we're talking about!" the indignant 'English' girl explained. "We're NEVER honest with each other here! It's like a game, or a challenge! We tell other people things that are untrue and use it as an acting exercise. But you just had to come along and ruin it!"

Shawn lifted one eyebrow. "Oh... Now it's MY fault I'm a slave to the spirits. I always get this kind of discrimination when people ask me to use my powers. I just say what the spirits make me! I'm just a puppet to their demands, and then I go getting blamed for what the spirits make me-"

Luckily, Shawn was cut off in his overly dramatic monlogue by the boy in the fedora screaming, "I CAN'T HANDLE ALL THIS DOUBT AND BETRAYAL!" and running into the bathroom in tears.

"Oh, and what you did to Nigel was just rude," the ringleader added, dropping the accent. "Peasant."

As if on cue, all of those left walked as far away from Shawn as possible and faced the wall. Sadly, that put many of them facing Gus.

The girl with the physics book started in on him. "Why didn't you try to stop him? If he's not responsible for his actions while under the influence of spirits, and you really are his sidekick, oh, I'm sorry, _business partner_," she corrected contemptuously, "wouldn't you be used to this by now? I mean, really. It's very irresponsible to allow him to go gallavanting around exposing everyone."

Gus was completely shocked at the unfairness of it all. "Excuse me? He has perfect control over himself-"

"When he is aided by a pineapple picked under a full moon on a cloudless night," Shawn hastily interrupted.

"I have one of those!" Everyone turned at the trespasser of the Shawn-shun. "Um... I mean..." Tobie stammered, "But... you can't have it! It's all MINE! BACK OFF!" she finished. It sounded like she just added that part so she wouldn't be burned at the stake.

Everyone accepted her outburst, and Physics girl continued chewing Gus out. "I mean, really. What are you hired for? Picking up lattes?" she asked sarcastically. Gus decided not to tell her that that was pretty much what his job was if you get down to the core of it. "You can at least try to control His Royal Psychicness. Now go sit down and think about- I mean... I'm in peer mediation. I counsel third graders sometimes," she explained. Gus was glad she didn't actually pu him in a time-out. Shawn would never let that one die. "Anyway, you should be ashamed of yourself. You will never be welcomed here again."

"We weren't welcomed here in the first place. We were hired-" Shawn started, almost blowing his cover, then thought better of it. "To write an article investigating the chutneys sent out by people who are pretending to be someone else for future use of police-hired psychics."

"Chutneys?" The girl with the nonexistant dogs asked, amused. "That would be a delicious mixture of fruits and/or vegetables with other food and liquid items mixed in. I think the word you're thinking of is chakras."

"The word your mom is thinking of is chakras!" And the spirits want me to tell you the and/or thing is really irritating to their spectral presences."

Gus sighed. Only Shawn could use 'your mom' and 'spectral presences' in the same paragraph. Well, in that context, anyway.

Suddenly, the auditorium door swung open, making a much-needed distraction. Lily, Ophelia, and a girl who was covered in green stage makeup waltzed out. Holding a table. And a cooler. And a lot of yogurt. And Juliet came out with a very large basket of fruit, followed by Lassiter, who looked- surprise, surprise,- irritated.

Lily glanced up shyly, holding her blender. "Anyone want a smoothie?"

Mr. Taser ran out, his face a lovely shade of purple. "You may NOT use milk products at this theatre! Milk causes phlegm! And you are Glinda! Glinda does not give people smoothies!"

Lily looked at her feet. "I'm sorry..." She put all the yogurt back in the cooler and took out the ice. "Does anyone want a slushie?" she asked, obviously unaware of what Mr. Taser had meant.

Shawn, Gus and Ophelia all burst out laughing.


	5. As You Wish

**Do I use the ellipsis (...) too often?**

**Still don't own anything you recognize, though I did face-paint Pac-Man on a little kid once. And thank you to everyone who's put me on their story alert list. You're my official best buds of the day. But please review or tell me if I did something you disagree with! I can't learn without your input!**

Mr. Taser's eyes were slowly bugging out, and it seemed like he was trying to talk. Instead, he just opened and closed his mouth, as if he was Pac-Man collecting the little yellow dots. Finally he just gave up and walked away, slowly shaking his head.

Lily furrowed her brow in worry. "Did I do something wrong? Oh,no! Was he having a seizure? And I didn't do anything to help him! I feel so bad now! I'm gonna go talk to him. I'll be back!" Before anyone could stop her, she turned down the hall. Suddenly there was a cacophonous crashing noise, followed by shufffling and stammered apologies. Lily yelled, "I'm alright! You guys go make slushies!" and then continued down the hall.

Ophelia smiled the way most people would at a puppy that fell into a bathtub. "I'll make sure she doesn't break any limbs. Not like anyone else would." She walked off.

Gus stared down the hall with a 'you-gotta-be-kidding-me' look. "This reminds me of the 'Dutch the Clutch' thing," he hissed.

"It's completely different, Gus. He was trying to commit suicide. She's just klutzy. And wearing large shoes."

"It's just as deadly a combination as explosives and a Mythbuster," a voice from behind them said. It was Tobie.

Gus surpressed a little girl scream and began gasping for air. Shawn looked at her angrily.

"Don't do that to Gussy Goose. He's delicate. In fact, last month someone did the same thing and he had a heart attack and was sent to the hospital. It turns out that his heart is literally broken. I believe the scientific name is hartisitirhythmiatizing skittlesaphobical disorder. It's very rare. Less than six people have it."

"What kind of crap is that..." Lassie stopped to come up with a rated G expression that still made him sound like an adult. Shawn took that pause to fill in the blank.

"That dazzling handsome and intelligent young prodigy and his almost-as-handsome conservative lackey?"

"Shawn! I am not your lackey! I am your business partner!"

Tobie smiled as Lassiter's face settled back into its special intense scowl that he only used for Shawn. This was very amusing to her.

Juliet cut in. "Carlton, calm down. He's not doing anything to you or anything we need to stop him from doing. Claire's done with her practice, so why don't we just drive her back and leave Shawn alone."

Lassiter started to argue, "He is giving an innocent child incorrect information and most likely trying to steer everyone off of the-"

"We're going, Lassiter." Juliet was frighteningly adamant. Her cousin followed her out, carrying a pair of cymbals.

"I have the keys," he yelled towards her, reaching to his pocket to get them. "Wait... where are.. She took my keys!" He glanced around, trying to find a dignified way to escape. He casually edged behind the table with the blenders, waited for one of them to get turned on, and sprinted across the auditorium to the exit as if an angry mob armed with torches and pitchforks was chasing him out.

Tobie raised an eyebrow. "That was quite entertaining. He runs like a duck."

"I was thinking Canadian goose... but that's not very Irish. Hmmm... an Irish bird with an awesome hairline...

"The greylag goose?" Gus offered.

"Sure... that sounds good. But wait! You! Pineapple girl! Why were you listening in on our important conversation?"

"My name is Tobie, and you're a psychic, right? I really don't think you're here to write a newspaper article, and since you're in the paper all the time for solving mysteries and whatnot, I'm assuming you're here to stop whoever's attacking our leads from continuing to attack our leads. If so, I want to help solve the mystery," she said in an undertone.

Shawn and Gus gave her a Look. "Have you ever tried to solve a crime?" Gus finally asked.

"I've solved crimes. A lot of crimes." She tried to stare them down. "... in Detective Conan/ Case Closed novels. But it's pretty much the same thing. Please? I have connections with the band AND the actors! See! I'm connected! I play the flute and I'm an unnamed citizen of Oz! Like Rochelle!" she said with a hint of begging while pointing at 'Physics Girl' with her flute.

Gus and Shawn looked at each other. "We need to have a private conference... Stay there." Shawn walked over to the wall.

Gus had an urgent look on his face. "How are we supposed to get rid of her?"

Shawn's face was overly-dramatic. "We can't. I've dealt with this kind of thing before. She will never stop following us until we agree to her terms. We have to use your panther stealth or accept her into the group."

"That was really dramatic," Tobie whispered from two feet away.

Gus almost had a heart attack. "We told you to stay over there!"

She shrugged. "Just proving Shawn's point. Am I in?"

Shawn was defeated. "Fine. Just.. Don't mess stuff up."

"Nice to have the vote of confidence," she commented. "Now, I know some people who might be able to help you out. Sadly, I am not allowed entry to their hideout."

"Wait... hideout?" Gus was obviously worried that the tenants of said hideout would try to physically harm him.

Tobie ignored his fear. "Down the hallway, first door to the left. Knock five times, pausing between the second and third knocks. If they ask you the password, it's 187. Using a number makes them feel clever. Now go ask them stuff and amaze them with your skillz."

"I'm gonna need that pineapple," Shawn stated. Gus had the overwhelming urge to elbow him.


End file.
